WHAT THE F*CK???

OK, I wasn’t going to go here, but I just have to say:
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

OK, so I’m dating this guy, and I can’t believe that I’ve met someone so wonderful. My friends (most of them anyway) have met him and they all think he’s great too. He’s sweet. He’s romantic. He pays a lot of attention to me. He doesn’t say word one about the fact that I’m over weight, and in fact thinks that I have a great ass (not to mention a nice rack). OK, so he’s a little on the homophobic side, but I can learn to work around that, and he may not be much to look at, but I thought he was cute (I said he was “wonderful” not “perfect”--- believe me, there were problems with him!!!) He said things like “I think about you every day.” “There would be an empty pit in my soul had I not met you.” (Cheesy and over the top yes, but hey, I fell for it, so I guess this shit is as much my fault as it is his.)

Anyway, I don’t know what happened. He freaked out on me. Sure, he was having family problems, but who among us doesn’t by the time we reach our mid 30’s. I don’t know, maybe I was just so happy to have a guy pay me the slightest bit of attention that I saw something that wasn’t there. But he just disappeared on me. I mean vanished. He “found a job out of state” (see the entry on my new haircut). And for anyone out there who knows me, don’t ever lie to me!!!! It is just about the only unforgivable sin you can commit.

So, anyway, why did I have to say WHAT THE FUCK????? Because what do I find in my in-box when I log on on Saturday???? A fucking email from him!!!! What the hell???? OH, and what does he have to say???? Here, let me copy and past for you…


I just wanted to drop you a line and tell you that I miss you. I'm not wanting to throw a wrench into anything. I just wanted to let you know that you have been on my mind quite a bit as of late and if I didn't tell you then you wouldn't know.

Take Care

BD


I’m sorry, but what the hell gives him the right to think that he can just pop back into my life and say that he was missing me???? He gave up the right to miss me, think about me, care about me, even THINK MY NAME when he dumped on me like a lead fucking balloon!!!!!! If a gaping maw would have opened up in the crust of the earth and swallowed him whole I may have felt bad for the loss of human life (assuming I was considering him “human” at the time) but I wouldn’t have given him a second thought!!! Who the hell told him he could contact me? And how the hell am I suppose to respond to that??? I wasn’t going to, but I have to admit that I had a moment of weakness and my curiosity got the better of me so I had to ask him just that… And do you want to know what the bastard had to say??? Well, I’ll tell you anyway…


I told you that I didn't want to disappear on you and I realized that with all that has been going on (without going into detail) I did. I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you. That is all.

No response at all or telling me to fuck off and go to hell was expected.


I should have just not responded. But NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO I have to go and let my nature get the better of me. I just can’t let it go. I replied with something to the affect of his disappearance act (Hello Houdini) didn’t surprise me at all, but his emailing me NOW of all things—he dumped me at New Years—was quite the shocker. Especially since he told a mutual friend that he couldn’t handle being in a relationship with me since I was so over bearing and dominant (I prefer the term “independent” thank you very much) and that he must be awfully busy with his “out of town job” (BIG FAT LIER). I haven’t heard back from him since. What a surprise (she said with sarcasm and distain in her voice).

Why do men think that they can pull that bull shit? Do they think that it is charming? Does he think that I’ll fall for him again? Well, I can tell you that I certainly won’t be doing that again!!! He fucked up once and got his second chance. A second second chance is OUT OF THE QUESTION!!! Do you hear that BD???

OH, and that’s another thing!!! What kind of pretentious ass signs his email with his initials????? Maybe he thought that using his middle name was a stupid idea after all. I mean, what heterosexual man in his mid 30’s in his right mind goes by the name “Blaze” anyway??? OK, so it’s not his fault that his parents named him that, but still???? Unless you don women’s clothes on Saturday nights and head down to the local gay bar to tart it up with the rest of the cross dressers, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING LAME BRAIN???

I was going to be nice. I was going to keep him out of my blog. I certainly wasn’t going to lower myself to his level (I’ll show you unfeminine Butt Munch – hey, there’s a “B” middle name for you… Butt Munch), but after much consideration (and surprising little alcohol) I said “Fuck it!” And here I am…

And to think, I felt bad about my part in our break up. I admit that I was a bit pushy. When he tried to tell me that he had some stuff going on with his family and that maybe a relationship was just a bit too much for him to handle I tried to muscle my way in anyway. So yeah, he told me. And I didn’t listen. But do I deserve this???? Fuck no!!! I tried to help him out by getting him all kind of information on how to keep primary custody of his kids. How to help out his “room mate” (The ex girlfriend who is still living with him because she has leukemia) with her illness and getting emotional as well as financial support for them. What the hell other kind of girlfriend would have done that after only going out with someone for a few weeks????? Most women would have told him to rot in hell when the found out that the “ex” was still in the house. But not me… NO!!! I’m too fucking nice and caring and understanding for my own good. OK, I’m a doormat!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

I just can’t believe that I fell for his BULL SHIT. Just tattoo “DORK” across my forehead please and thank you.

Well, being the dateless and desperate moron that I am, I’m off to see if there are any new matches out there for me on eharmony.com. Yeah me…..

IT'S HAPPY BUNNY TIME!!!!!

http://quizilla.com/users/allisterriotgirl/quizzes/which%20IT

OK, so we know which HAPPY BUNNY I am, but how about you??? And hey, only 8% of the folks out there are the same bunny as me. How cool is that….
So here are some of my favorite BUNNY sayings:

You suck and that’s sad.
Cute but psycho, things even out.
I hate everything.
Hi loser.
Hi eat me.
Hi Cram It.
It’s All About Me.
Not listening.
You're Icky.
I Hate You.
You're Ugly.
You suck big time.
It’s cute how stupid you are.
It worries me how stupid you are.
Cruel But Cute.
I Know How You Feel, I Just Don’t Care.
Whatever You Moron.
Let's Focus On Me.
Crazy Doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hey you made me throw up a little.
School prepares you for real life, which also sucks.
Prevent violence, give me your lunch money.
Please Go Away.
Hi Dorkwad.
Fzuckit!
Wow Your Music sucks big time.
Go Suck Someplace Else.
Cute but psycho.
Not listening.
It's all about me. Deal with it.
You smell like butt.
Let's keep notes on who pisses us off
I just don't listen.
You suck and that's sad.
It worries me how dumb you are.
It's cute how stupid you are.
I love boys. They're stupid.
Let's focus on me.
Kiss me right on the pooper.

Hurray for Andy Rooney

OK, so I know I haven’t been on in a while, but it’s been a kind of busy week. And when I’m not busy, I’m just plain being LAZY….

I’ve been doing a lot of reading of BLOGS the past couple of days though and there are a lot of band wagons that I’d like to jump on but some days I just don’t know where to begin. I think I’ll start with political correctness. Someone sent me this, and it has been credited to Andy Rooney, but I don’t know if he is really the one who said all/any of this. I have emailed this to some of you, and for those of you who didn’t get it, well, here it is. I have also added my own commentary to it as well…

***I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers (and not even that, because women are technically a minority, but we make up 51% of the population). The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door (Gotta love the ACLU… “Everyone pitied us and treat us special, and to hell with you. Personally, I think anyone in the ACLU should be pitied, but not because they are a minority, because they are simply not intelligent enough to realize that sometimes life just isn’t fair and you need to suck it up and move on. If you don’t like it, change it, don’t sit around bitching about it hoping that the rest of us will take care of your attitude problem!!!).
***Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
***I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE? If you don’t like the idea of separating boys and girls in scouting, look into the Explorer Scouts, they’re co-ed. Bet you didn’t know that even existed did you???
***I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion. Besides, who are you to judge? Isn’t that God’s job? And I don’t think he’s running around giving his opinion to every white trash, right wing, holier than thou snob out there. How do I know this? He told me!
***I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off. Stop wearing your feeling on your sleeves!!! Just because someone refers to you as “black” instead of “African American” or “Oriental” instead of “Asian” doesn’t AUTOMATICALLY mean that they are out to piss you off, that is just the word that they grew up using, and it isn’t derogatory, mean, hateful, spiteful, or any of the other things that you and you alone think they are. They are just words. And if you don’t like them, maybe you should listen to the KINDERGARDENERS when they say “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.” What the hell, is someone burning across on your lawn or something??? I didn’t think so. So pull your head out of your ass already!!!!
***When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability. (Maybe if some of those 70% spent more time in school and less time selling drugs and guns to 6-year-olds they’d know what the Law of Probibility is…)
***I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English! (Creo eso si usted me está vendiendo un milkshake, un paquete de cigarrillos, un periódico o un cuarto del hotel, ¡usted debe hacerlo en inglés! De hecho, si usted desea ser un ciudadano americano, ¡usted si tenga que hablar inglés! 我相信那如果您卖我milkshake, 一盒香烟, 报纸或旅馆客房, 您必须做它用英语! 实际上, 如果您想要是美国公民, 您如果必须讲英语! )
***My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.
***I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business. (So go back to your own country and try to make it better instead of increasing our government’s debt and making life worse for people who were actually born here. If you don’t like the way that things are run in your country, change them, but what ever you do, just go home…)
***We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations. (So go back to your own country and try to make it better instead of increasing our government’s debt and making life worse for people who were actually born here. If you don’t like the way that things are run in your country, change them, but what ever you do, just go home… Did I REALLY need to say that twice???)
***I don't hate the rich I don't pity the poor.
***I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.
***I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building. (Or better yet, just get off your lazy ass, out of your pajamas, and GET A JOB!!! If you don’t like the job you’re in, FIND ANOTHER ONE. If it requires more education, GO TO SCHOOL!!! Hell, getting government money for school is easy, ESPICALLY if you are anything other than a white male born in this country. But whatever you do, STOP YOUR CONSTANT BITCHING, it doesn’t do anything but make your mood worse, and therefore make your situation more miserable!!!)
***It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!" (I firmly believe that there is a difference between spanking and beating, and while there are a lot of parents out there who don’t know the difference a lot more of us do. If you smack your child’s bare back side with a fly swatter --- and I’ve seen that done --- then you will probably scar them for life and turn them into the next Ted Bundy, but if you cup your hand and pop them on the diaper doing little more than scaring them with the noise, then chances are they will learn. The ladies from Nanny 911 have their hands full. Here’s a thought, you have to be 21 to drink, register to vote, get a license to drive, maybe we should implement something like that before we allow some people to breed. Of course THAT would take away their free will and only make life better for the rest of us so I guess that’s out of the question.)

OK, so I’m done ranting for the moment. I just had to get that out in the open. And I know I have turned into one of those bloggers that I hate (one who doesn’t write anything) so I’m going to make a better effort from now on.

Until next time…