WHAT THE F*CK???

OK, I wasn’t going to go here, but I just have to say:
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

OK, so I’m dating this guy, and I can’t believe that I’ve met someone so wonderful. My friends (most of them anyway) have met him and they all think he’s great too. He’s sweet. He’s romantic. He pays a lot of attention to me. He doesn’t say word one about the fact that I’m over weight, and in fact thinks that I have a great ass (not to mention a nice rack). OK, so he’s a little on the homophobic side, but I can learn to work around that, and he may not be much to look at, but I thought he was cute (I said he was “wonderful” not “perfect”--- believe me, there were problems with him!!!) He said things like “I think about you every day.” “There would be an empty pit in my soul had I not met you.” (Cheesy and over the top yes, but hey, I fell for it, so I guess this shit is as much my fault as it is his.)

Anyway, I don’t know what happened. He freaked out on me. Sure, he was having family problems, but who among us doesn’t by the time we reach our mid 30’s. I don’t know, maybe I was just so happy to have a guy pay me the slightest bit of attention that I saw something that wasn’t there. But he just disappeared on me. I mean vanished. He “found a job out of state” (see the entry on my new haircut). And for anyone out there who knows me, don’t ever lie to me!!!! It is just about the only unforgivable sin you can commit.

So, anyway, why did I have to say WHAT THE FUCK????? Because what do I find in my in-box when I log on on Saturday???? A fucking email from him!!!! What the hell???? OH, and what does he have to say???? Here, let me copy and past for you…


I just wanted to drop you a line and tell you that I miss you. I'm not wanting to throw a wrench into anything. I just wanted to let you know that you have been on my mind quite a bit as of late and if I didn't tell you then you wouldn't know.

Take Care

BD


I’m sorry, but what the hell gives him the right to think that he can just pop back into my life and say that he was missing me???? He gave up the right to miss me, think about me, care about me, even THINK MY NAME when he dumped on me like a lead fucking balloon!!!!!! If a gaping maw would have opened up in the crust of the earth and swallowed him whole I may have felt bad for the loss of human life (assuming I was considering him “human” at the time) but I wouldn’t have given him a second thought!!! Who the hell told him he could contact me? And how the hell am I suppose to respond to that??? I wasn’t going to, but I have to admit that I had a moment of weakness and my curiosity got the better of me so I had to ask him just that… And do you want to know what the bastard had to say??? Well, I’ll tell you anyway…


I told you that I didn't want to disappear on you and I realized that with all that has been going on (without going into detail) I did. I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you. That is all.

No response at all or telling me to fuck off and go to hell was expected.


I should have just not responded. But NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO I have to go and let my nature get the better of me. I just can’t let it go. I replied with something to the affect of his disappearance act (Hello Houdini) didn’t surprise me at all, but his emailing me NOW of all things—he dumped me at New Years—was quite the shocker. Especially since he told a mutual friend that he couldn’t handle being in a relationship with me since I was so over bearing and dominant (I prefer the term “independent” thank you very much) and that he must be awfully busy with his “out of town job” (BIG FAT LIER). I haven’t heard back from him since. What a surprise (she said with sarcasm and distain in her voice).

Why do men think that they can pull that bull shit? Do they think that it is charming? Does he think that I’ll fall for him again? Well, I can tell you that I certainly won’t be doing that again!!! He fucked up once and got his second chance. A second second chance is OUT OF THE QUESTION!!! Do you hear that BD???

OH, and that’s another thing!!! What kind of pretentious ass signs his email with his initials????? Maybe he thought that using his middle name was a stupid idea after all. I mean, what heterosexual man in his mid 30’s in his right mind goes by the name “Blaze” anyway??? OK, so it’s not his fault that his parents named him that, but still???? Unless you don women’s clothes on Saturday nights and head down to the local gay bar to tart it up with the rest of the cross dressers, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING LAME BRAIN???

I was going to be nice. I was going to keep him out of my blog. I certainly wasn’t going to lower myself to his level (I’ll show you unfeminine Butt Munch – hey, there’s a “B” middle name for you… Butt Munch), but after much consideration (and surprising little alcohol) I said “Fuck it!” And here I am…

And to think, I felt bad about my part in our break up. I admit that I was a bit pushy. When he tried to tell me that he had some stuff going on with his family and that maybe a relationship was just a bit too much for him to handle I tried to muscle my way in anyway. So yeah, he told me. And I didn’t listen. But do I deserve this???? Fuck no!!! I tried to help him out by getting him all kind of information on how to keep primary custody of his kids. How to help out his “room mate” (The ex girlfriend who is still living with him because she has leukemia) with her illness and getting emotional as well as financial support for them. What the hell other kind of girlfriend would have done that after only going out with someone for a few weeks????? Most women would have told him to rot in hell when the found out that the “ex” was still in the house. But not me… NO!!! I’m too fucking nice and caring and understanding for my own good. OK, I’m a doormat!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

I just can’t believe that I fell for his BULL SHIT. Just tattoo “DORK” across my forehead please and thank you.

Well, being the dateless and desperate moron that I am, I’m off to see if there are any new matches out there for me on eharmony.com. Yeah me…..