Have I mentioned that I hate my life???

So I'm flipping back and forth between "Walking Tall" with The Rock, and "The Holiday" with Kate Winslet.  I totally feel like Kate at the beginning of the movie when she's inhaling the gas from her stove.  Lucky for me I have an electric stove.  Only I'll never get my Jack Black.  I am convinced that I am destined to be alone.  However it is nice looking at The Rock.

So anyway, found out today that F dropped his phone in water and it doesn't work.  I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that that is the reason that he hasn't called.  And apparently he doesn't have a computer, he only IMs and facebooks on his phone.  Whatever.

I should be doing homework.  I'm already behind on my assignments.  With any luck tomorrow I'll get some work done.  Haven't been able to concentrate.  And while I know someone somewhere is saying it's because of the guy (and I'm not ruling that out 100%), it's more because I just have ZERO interest in this class...  It's BORING!!!!

And I'm also facebooking.  Yeah, no wonder things never get done around here...

I am so not the person that I thought I'd be at 41.  It's not that I have a problem being alone.  I'm OK with that.  Sometimes I even like it.  I mean, I can come and go when I want, I don't have to answer to anyone, I can do what I want.  But sometimes I get lonely.

And then there's the sex.  I like sex.  Well, I like good sex.  And I don't want to keep the fuck-buddy that I've been having.  I want F back.  I want to have someone who is having sex with me with some emotion behind it, not just a base need to cum.  And I want someone who will put his arms around me and just hod me when we are done.  I don't want angry revenge sex.

Look, I'm not saying that I want to marry the guy.  Hell, he has to get a divorce first.  (Don't judge me!!!  He told me he is separated!!!  And with my track record, I'm just stupid enough to believe him too!!!)

OH, and my cousin has announced that her husband is getting stationed in England.  She never wanted to go to England.  I on the other hand have wanted to move to London (or the surrounding area) for some time now.

First off, I want to go on a curse to Alaska.  I can't afford it.  But my parents go (both sets of them).  Then one of my best friends goes with her then husband.  I on the other hand get to stay home and watch TV and play with my dog.  I want to go to Ireland.  Do I get to go?  NOOOOOO.  But a different friend's son gets stationed there so she's been a few times.  And to Rome most recently.  And ever since I started watching Doctor Who.  Now my cousin gets to go.  And let's face it, it's not like I'll ever be able to afford to go and visit.  Not that I would anyway.  We aren't that close.  But still...  So the last place that I want to go is Scotland, and Wales.   Any takers on who gets to go there before me???  Hell, I'll be luck to get out of Colorado before the end of 2012.  Today is June 1, and so far the furthest I've been is Denver...

Have I mentioned today how much I hate my life???

Well, the dog is bugging the crap out of me.  At least HE loves me.  Glad someone does....